


Blue Castles Hidden Ace

by Tazmania3056



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual Oikawa Tooru, Iwa-chan being a cute and doting boyfriend, M/M, mentions of mattsun and makki - Freeform, oikawa can't cook, probably not that great but self indulgant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-23
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-07-16 02:08:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16076120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tazmania3056/pseuds/Tazmania3056
Summary: Oikawa has no problems with his gay awakening, his asexual awakening on the other hand, not so easy





	Blue Castles Hidden Ace

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fic I've written since I got out of a major depressive slump so it's not that great bit I wanted to write it so here. Enjoy

Learning he was gay wasn’t that much of a surprise to him. In fact it was a very welcome revelation, so many pieces seeming to fall into place nicely. It explained why pretty girls seemed easier to talk to than pretty guys, why he was more prone to disliking guys at random and why he never seemed at ease with any of his previous girlfriends. He just really liked dudes.  
Then there was this. The one piece of the puzzle that seemed more out of place then ever as the others found their place and got comfy.  
He dropped another handful of chopped veggies into the pot with a little less finesse than was probably needed, his eyebrows furrowed and a frown tugged at his lips as he slowly worked on dinner. His skin still crawling from the conversation he and and his friends had had earlier that day.  
//  
“Oikawa, you probably have plenty experience don’t you?” Hanamaki had commented, suddenly involving the setter into his conversation. Oikawa hadn’t the faintest idea what they were talking about but proceeded to flash them his usual grin anyways.  
“Experience in what?”  
“Sex, you’ve been in more relationships than any of us after all.”  
Oikawas stomach dropped, his skin seeming to crawl as he bit back a grimace. When he answered he kept his voice light.  
“Nope. Still a virgin.” And he waited.  
“What? A virgin”  
“No way, really?” Mattsun made his surprise known next, Oikawa never understood why it was such a big deal.  
“Yep”  
“Why? Surely you’ve had the chance? Surely you and Iwaizumi have?”  
He had, Makki was correct in that. He had had boys and girls in the past offer it to him but in the end he was never interested, it just left a churning in his gut, a sour taste on his tongue and a question on his lips he hadn’t dared ask out loud, and Iwa-chan? Well neither had initiated it, though the ace was getting a little more daring as their relationship progressed.  
“Guess I’ve just been too busy” he shrugged, “someone had to whip your butts into shape for your next team.”  
“Yeah, Iwaizumi” Makki snorted.  
//  
He hadn’t ever approached this problem, it didn’t seem as simple or easy as realising he liked guys, lots of people liked guys after all! It wasn’t weird or unusual, but sex? Well everyone liked sex didn’t they?  
He had settled on it being nerves. Sex was scary so he avoided it, simple as that. Though no matter how much he twisted or shifted that conclusion it never fit quite right. He tried asking his dad about it, telling him he didn’t want sex and his dad had told him that he was still a child and that he’d grow a little more and it’d be all he thought about. He tried asking his mum and she basically said the same, that now he was nervous but soon enough it would be the only thing on his mind. Well they weren’t wrong, just not in the way he thought they were implying.  
“Shittykawa? What’s burning in there?” Iwaizumis voice cut though his looped thoughts, bringing his attention to what was now very burnt salmon.  
“…my love for you?”  
He heard some grumbling, paper rustling and a few heavy footsteps before the mildly annoyed but not at all surprised ace showed himself.  
“Lost in that confusing head of yours?” He took care of the salmon, quietly ushering Oikawa out of the kitchen and out of his way as he did.  
“Pfft it’s only confusing to you, I can navigate it quite easily thank you very much”. He just got a short snort in reply, neither speaking again until the mess was cleaned up, the silence heavy, almost suffocating.  
“…I want to have sex.” And there it was. The bitter taste on his tongue, the churning in his stomach, the instant regret weighing his body down as soon as the words left his mouth.  
Iwaizumis eyebrows shot up, a light blush spreading across his cheeks. Oikawa decided that he liked when the other blushed, it was cute on him.  
“Sex?” If Oikawa didn’t want to crawl out of his skin he could have laughed at the look on his boyfriends face.  
“Yep, sex, take it or leave it babe.”  
Iwaizumi nodded quickly, taking the setters hand and leading the way to the bedroom, kissing him as soon as the door was shut.  
Oikawa kissed back, he liked kissing Iwaizumi, the other had soft lips and he always kissed with just the right amount of pressure that was needed at the time. So Oikawa did his best to relax, this proving to be rather difficult.  
Iwaizumi guided them back until the bed caught the setters legs, toppling him back onto the mattress and the ridiculous amount of pillows there per Oikawas request.  
The ace pulled his shirt off quickly, followed by Oikawas before he captured his lips in another kiss. Oikawas head spun, his skin crawling wherever his boyfriend touched like it was trying to escape but had nowhere to go, a mixture of disgust and guilt settled in his gut uncomfortably.  
This wasn’t fear.  
He didn’t trust anyone else like he trusted Iwaizumi, if it came down to it he would trust him with his life in a heartbeat or less. So why did he feel so wrong? Why did he want to shrink from his boyfriends touch run from this situation?  
He hadn’t realised he was crying until he felt a hand on his cheek and heard a very worried Iwaizumi.  
“Woah, hey, what’s wrong?” his voice was soft, firm but gentle, his thumbs brushing over his wet cheeks, wiping away the tears that continued to fall.  
That horrid feeling clawed at his throat, fiery nails scratching at his core, he realised he couldn’t give Iwaizumi a physical relationship and dread washed over him.  
His breaths came out in short gasps, would Iwaizumi leave him? Would he think he was some kind of freak or broken? Would he confirm the fears he had spent so many years trying to smother?  
“Tooru” his firm voice managed to cut through the panic. “Tooru talk to me, talk to me.”  
“I…I can’t…I-I’m sorry…I can’t do this.” His voice came out so weak and shaky he wondered if he had even said them at all.  
Iwaizumis features softened and much to Oikawas surprise he pulled him into a hug.  
“Then we won’t.” He kissed along the setters jaw, his lips incredibly soft in comparison to the stubble on his chin when it brushed against him.  
“I-I don’t think I’ll ever want it…I’ve never wanted it and whenever I think about having it my skin crawls and I feel sick” he managed to sob out, gripping his boyfriends arms, a desperate plea for him to stay.  
Iwaizumi stared at him for a moment, his eyebrows furrowed in thought.  
“Are you asexual?”  
“What?” From all the reactions he expected, having a term given to him was not one of them.  
“Asexual. Aces don’t experience sexual attraction, some are completely sex repulsed.” He sat with his back to the bedhead and pulled Oikawa onto his lap, pulling up google on his phone. “See, look.”  
The next hour was spent jumping from site to site, going through different blogs and Iwaizumi again comforting a sobbing Oikawa. By the end of it that one stubborn piece had found its place and he couldn’t be more relieved, the heavy weight of doubt gone. He wasn’t a freak or broken, there was a whole community of people just like him!  
“If you don’t want sex, then don’t have sex. I won’t do anything you’re uncomfortable with.” Iwaizumi mumbled into his shoulder, leaving a light kiss after he spoke.  
“Won’t you want sex though…”  
The shorter man chuckled. “Humans were graced with opposable thumbs, I’ll be fine. Now how about we go watch one of those stupid alien documentaries you love so much?”  
Oikawa really loved his boyfriend.


End file.
